Michael’s Review: Papa Burger (Classic Rocks)
The Hungry Burgiatrist
Once upon a time, there was a hungry burgiatrist. One day, the burgiatrist came upon a small restaurant in the middle of a strip center. He opened the door and followed the sign’s instruction to seat himself. When he reached the booth, he found he had a terrible problem. “What size burger should I order?” asked the burgiatrist. For there were three different-sized patties on the menu.
“The Baby Burger is too small,” said the burgiatrist. “But the Mama Burger will not fill me up!” Finally, the burgiatrist settled on the Papa Burger. That would be juuuuust right. Soon, the waitress brought the burgiatrist his burger. It was topped with American cheese, lettuce, and a shiny red tomato.
When the burgiatrist finished his burger, he leaned back. He wanted to doze right there in the booth. He was right. The Papa Burger was juuuuust right.
His rating was 4.25 out of 5.
Scott’s Review: Mama Burger (Classic Rocks)
I can’t believe I’ve been @&$%ing living in Cary for three and a half years before knowing that there was a @&$%ing 4.75 burger just over a mile away, right there in Swift Creek @&$%ing Shopping Center—right @&$%ing down Tryon Road from me—at the modest, unassuming Barry’s Cafe. It was like finding a $100 bill in my pocket. Or a Van Gogh in the attic. Or a @&$%ing golden ticket in my @&$%ing Wonka Bar.
You think I’m angry? You’re damn right I’m angry. Do you know how many Barry’s burgers I could have enjoyed in the past 1,278 days? A @&$%ing lot—that’s how many.
Scott’s review: 4.75 out of 5.
John’s Review: Mama Burger (Classic Rocks)
Barry’s: So Very
If you want a very good burger in a very interesting little family restaurant with a very cool fire-fighter theme and very good service, go to Barry’s Cafe on Tryon Road. They have a very good flat grill there that is very well-seasoned due to the very many breakfasts and burgers that have been cooked upon its very hot surface. As a result, the very fresh hand-made ground chuck patties are very well charred to establish the strong foundation for a very, very good burger.
From there, Barry’s continues to get it right, with very nice American cheese, very fresh veggies, the very build order required, a very nice and traditional bun (not a VERY infuriating Kaiser roll!) and very nice attention to proportions and assembly to bring all of the very nice flavors together. And, after you’ve enjoyed a very, very, very good flat-grill Classic Rocks cheeseburger—heavy and laden with the very burger magic we all seek—Barry’s servers will surprise you with a very scrumptious fresh-baked chocolate chip or white chocolate/macadamia cookie to solidify your very well-deserved gratitude and newfound loyalty.
This is a very, very, VERY good burger, people. Which is why I wanted to provide the very serious and very straight-forward review it deserved, resisting any urge to replace the word “very” with “Barry,” which would have been juvenile.
John’s Review: 4.5 out of 5.