Dear Buffalo wings,
What I am about to write will embarrass you, but I cannot contain my feelings any longer.
I love you.
I love you, I want you, and I need you. I am at peace when we are together, and I long for you when we are apart. You are the very definition of delicious.
There is no need to respond, Buffalo wings. Just know this: I love you now, and I will love you forever.
I understand that you saw my letter to Buffalo wings, and that you’re upset. I see now that my admission was tactless and cruel. Please know, hamburgers, that it was never my intention to hurt you.
We’ve been together for many years, you and I, and our memories exceed measure. And despite my affection for Buffalo wings (which, my dearest, I cannot deny!), my love for you shall never diminish.
You are, and will forever remain, my dearest heart.