Reverend Rants: Beware O Faithful!


My flock!

I stand before you today with a warning. Yea, I beseech you to turn away from the allure of the ever-unholy combination of meats and sauces and frivolities known as the “signature burger.” These “unique combinations” are ne’er less than distractions, ruses, barriers to burger enlightenment.

Barriers, my flock!

False burger prophets preach the graces of their scandalous creations, tempting you with their “unique combination of select ingredients” and the impossible enlightenment that you, my brothers and sisters, will surely attain. I beg you, rebuke this temptation! Rebuke it!

Only through the basic burger may true enlightenment be achieved. Only through simplicity may the burgiatric kingdom be built.