Reverend Rants: Have Faith


Pilgrims, today I reach out to you about the paradox of faith in the burger. We only truly experience enlightenment when we have faced a trial that often shakes our faith in burgers. A few months back, I had an experience so gut wrenching – so sacrilegious- I was afraid of the burger. I had stared at the abyss of hopelessness and it stared back. I was defeated- broken. It was at this point of questioning my beliefs in the burger that my burger brethren rallied around me. They lifted me up. They showed me the path and we had a top 5 experience.  It was heaven sent.

So brothers and sisters, if you have had your faith in the burger tested, if you have faced the abyss and it has stared back, if you have decided the grilled chicken sandwich is a safer bet, let us rally around you. Let us raise you up. Let us show you the path. Visit one of our top 10 and have your faith restored. Always remember in the time of darkness, love the burger and the burger will love you back.

Reverend Don Corey

Today’s reading is from the book of Burgiatry, chapter 9, verse 17, The Straight Beef’s Top 10

Chuck’s = 5.00
Only Burger = 4.88
Mojoe’s = 4.83
Brewmasters Bar and Grill = 4.67
Buns of Chapel Hill = 4.67
Draft = 4.58
Johnson’s = 4.50
Barry’s Cafe = 4.50
Bonefish Grill = 4.42
Salem Street Pub = 4.33