Review #62 – Mattie B’s (Durham, NC)
Ready To Enter TSB’s Non-Commitment Contest? Kinda? Perfect!
Mattie B’s Public House isn’t ready to commit. Its menu and décor kinda feature a musical theme, kinda not. Its homemade chips kinda come as described, kinda not. Its sandwich selection is kinda organized by burgers and non-burgers, kinda not. The beef on its patty melt kinda covers about half the bread, kinda not. The patty is kinda cooked to order, kinda not.
But we’ll say this about Mattie B’s: Its unwavering commitment to not committing is nothing short of impressive. Inspiring, even. We mean, right on, Mattie B’s—we don’t wanna commit to stuff, either! In fact, we found ourselves waxing poetic about times in our own lives when were been ready to suck it up, step up to the plate, and remain completely non-committal. Here are a few:
- I kinda want to run a marathon, but I’m not a big fan of running.
- I kinda like driving fast and living hard, but insurance rates are so expensive.
- I kinda want my bacon spread evenly on my burger, but the general vicinity is OK.
- I kinda want an Apple Watch, but I’m not a big fan of watches.
- I kinda want to follow Phish around the country, but I work ‘til 5 every day.
- I kinda want to see the Stones in July, but I don’t want to sell my liver for a ticket.
- I kinda feel ready to stop binge-watching Lost, but I only have like 7 seasons left.
- I kinda like a music theme for the menu but…oh, hey, squirrel!
So how ‘bout you? What are you totally committed to not committing to? Email your non-commitments to email@example.com. Be sure to include the word kinda in some way. A Straight Beef T-Shirt for our favorite. TSB bumper stickers for three runners-up. Enter by May 22, 2015.
Meanwhile, we will commit to ratings.
Michael’s rating: 2.50 out of 5.0
Scott’s rating: 2.50 out of 5.0
Don’s rating: 2.75 out of 5.0
Shawn’s rating: 2.75 out of 5.0
Mattie B’s overall ranking: 53 out of 62.