The Straight Beef Gangsta Rap

Say what? You must be trippin’ with a patty like that

Even Ron the red-head stepchild can do better than that!

Frontin’ me some fried-up disc of soybeans you done mixed in a vat?

Better check yourself and realize who you lookin’ at!

An’ I ain’t ‘bout to get dissed by some punk-ass b$&%@.

Don’t know a real Angus patty from the a%& on his itch

Next time you serve this pimp a burger, better show some respect

Or you’re gonna see what a burgiatrist can do when he’s p%&^#$!

Cause it’s a Straight Beef G-thing, Baby

Three loc’d out Gs eatin’ crazy

Layin’ down burger truth for the ladies

And makin’ burger education straight SEXY.

And all you other chump reviewers with your lame-a&% blogs

You may not mean any harm, but you be steerin’ peeps wrong.

Go ahead and rate a burger but you’re gonna get flogged

Ain’t got no ivy-league cred like me and my TSB dogs.

Cause it’s a Straight Beef G-thing, Baby

Three loc’d out Gs eatin’ crazy

Layin’ down burger truth for the ladies

And makin’ burger education straight SEXY.

—John McManus, distinguished burgiatrist and renowned author of Self-Actualization, Medium-Rare