The Top 5

This post was originally posted at WRAL Out and About.

The Straight Beef is pleased to announce its Top 5 Triangle-area burgers so far (well, 6, actually—there was a tie for 5th), including excerpts from each review.

Each burger is rated on a scale of 1 to 5; an asterisk denotes a tie.

5. JOHNSON’S (Siler City) Average score: 4.50*

“Do yourself a favor, my friends. Go to Johnson’s soon. Get there early. Get that classic, humble, beautiful, delicious, American, quintessential cheeseburger and wash it down with a Pepsi. Savor the melted Velveeta. Then drive among the pastures and fields along Highway 64. Get yourself one of these 4.5s and live the American dream. I implore you.” (John)

5. BARRY’S CAFÉ (Raleigh) Average score: 4.50*

“Barry’s continues to get it right, with very nice American cheese, very fresh veggies, the very build order required, a very nice and traditional bun, and very nice attention to proportions and assembly to bring all of the very nice flavors together….This is a very, very, VERY good burger, people. Which is why I am resisting any urge to replace the word ‘very’ with ‘Barry,’ which would have been juvenile.” (John)

4. DRAFT (Raleigh) Average score: 4.58

A haiku: The Blazin’ Asian / Draft approaches perfection / Rating four point five (Michael)

3. BUNS (Chapel Hill) Average score: 4.67

“I suspected that the burger would be good, just not this good. Every bite of the exquisite Buns burger was a Dionysian commingling of flavors and juices that rang bells of delight through the hallowed annals of burgiatry, elevating me to a level of burgiatric pleasure seldom imagined. It was, simply, a celebration of life.” (Scott)

2. MOJOE’S (Raleigh) Average score: 4.83

“Wow. Yum. Man, that’s a good burger. Wow. Is this burger amazing, or is it just me? Yum num num. [Sigh.] Whew. Man, there’s just not a lot wrong with this burger. Yum num num. Yum num num num num. This has got to be a five. I mean, if this isn’t a great burger, what is? Yum.” (Scott)

1. CHUCK’S (Raleigh) Average score: 5.00

“Seekers on the path to enlightenment must pursue the Four Noble Truths. It can be very time-consuming. I suggest that those in search of enlightenment simply visit Chuck’s, where four other, easier, noble truths are posted on the menu: (1) half-pound 100% chuck, (2) house ground, (3) flat-top seared, (4) on a potato roll….This burger led this burgiatrist to true enlightenment.” (Michael)

Review #20: Draft (Raleigh, NC) CLOSED

Updated: Unfortunately, Draft closed as of 12/31/2012.

John’s Review: Wolfpack (Classic Rocks)

Almost a Five (Country Ballad for the Draft Wolfpack)

Take a listen!

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I done seen this before
Ain’t nothin’ new
Through other doors
On other menus

A patty cooked on the grill
O’er an open flame
Barbecue sauce, pepper jack and onion straws
And they’ve all been the same

Just too awful sweet
Or way too much tang
But then you came along and made it right, what a surprise
Well go-olly dang!

You’re almost a five
Yeah, you’re almost a five!
While I can’t quite go all the way, babe,
You’re almost a five!

It hurt me to leave you
When you’re so pretty and fine
But absence is making me grow fonder
Gonna get in my truck and head yonder
‘Cause you’re almost a five…

You’re almost a five!
Yeah, you’re almost a five!
I can’t quite go all the way, babe, but you’re
Almost a five!

Rating: 4.75


Michael’s Review: The Blazin’ Asian (Look At Me!)

The new Draft Carolina Burgers and Beers (formerly Hi5) in the Glenwood South section of downtown Raleigh has quite a selection of burgers. I had the Blazin’ Asian, a burger that boasted hoison basted Kobe (Waygu) beef patty with spicy kimchee relish. It was so good that it inspired me to haiku:

The Blazin’ Asian

Draft approaches perfection

Rating four point five

Scott’s Review: Draft Burger (Classic Rocks)

Scott’s Review: 4.5


 

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