Renegade Review: Jake’s Steaks (St. Louis, MO)

The ribs at Jake’s Steaks are probably the best I’ve ever had. The dry rub was tangy, and the meat melted in my mouth. The wait staff at Jake’s did a great job with our large party. Our server made sure our glasses were always full. A great time was had by all.

What is that, you say? Why would an esteemed burgiatrist focus so much on ribs and service? I’ll tell you why: because the burger I had was the worst piece of garbage I have ever eaten. I ordered the Fried Burger. Billed as cheese pressed between two 5-oz patties all lightly breaded and fried. I expected a juicy, gooey, yummy burger. I mean, how could it be bad? Everyone who has been to the fair knows that everything is better when it’s fried.

My first bite crunched so loudly that the person sitting next to me asked if I was OK. I figured it must have just been the edge of the patty and that I ate mostly fried batter. Things did not improve with the second bite. Four or five bites in, I cut my burger in half to see if I would ever come across cheese. Nope. Either the cook forgot to put it in there, or it was left in the fryer too long, vaporizing it. The whole thing was a burned, crunchy mess.

The only reason I am not giving this burger a zero is because it didn’t make me sick. This ranks up there as one of the worst things I have ever eaten. For your own sake, if you go to Jake’s Steaks, get the ribs. My rating: 0.25 out of 5.