Category: Features

There’s a McDifference #5

There’s a McDifference!

3810 Lake Boone Trail, Raleigh (just off I-440)

Our senior McDonald’s beat writer Dave Foley is back with his oft-debated hypothesis that if you look closely enough, each Mickey D’s is different from the next. Here’s installment #5 of “There’s a McDifference.”

The Lake Boone Trail McDonald’s sits in a very crowded strip mall. It is a well-maintained building with that quintessential McDonald’s look. The only thing missing was the “Over 10 Trillion Served” sign under the golden arches.

Atmosphere: The inside has granite on all surfaces (including the planters), tile on the walls, and stainless steel equipment. It looks like my ideal kitchen. The place is extremely clean, though I didn’t see any hand sanitizers. There is also no playground, so I guess those two things go hand in hand. There is lots of seating, including outside tables under a nice veranda. I counted five big-screen TVs.

Quarter Pounder: The patty is so compressed that it actually sticks out about a quarter inch on all sides of the bun. The flavor is still pretty good, but they have completely pressed every ounce of moisture out of the meat, so it is a bit dry. The bun is very soft, and they use fresh onions with good coverage.

Fries: I’ve been here many times, and every single time the fries are burnt. One time might be an anomaly, twice a coincidence, but half a dozen times in a row and I’m sensing a pattern. Instead of golden brown, they are just…brown. They were so completely burnt on my latest visit that I almost took them back.

Burger rating: 3 out of 5 Grimaces

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Travel Channel green-lights “Burger Land,” an exploration of America’s great burger joints with George Motz

The Travel Channel has approved 11 episodes of “Burger Land,” George Motz’s exploration of classic hamburger joints in America. Here’s the quote from the Travel Channel:

Host George Motz, author of the popular book, “Hamburger America,” takes viewers on a road trip to meet some of the nation’s oldest and most storied hamburger creators, tour their establishments and find out what makes their burger the best. Motz uncovers the history, people and secrets behind America’s most iconic sandwich.

George Motz’s documentary “Hamburger America” debuted in 2005, featuring eight great hamburger restaurants across the United States. He then parlayed that into a book by the same name in 2008 which featured 150 iconic burger joints. Now the Travel Channel has approved 11 episodes of “Burger Land,” a new television series that will highlight four burger joints per episode. All we can say is that The Straight Beef media team is in negotiations with Motz and the Travel Channel (meaning that we have sent them an email and an attempted bribe). If Motz and his crew cross the North Carolina border they will quickly find themselves ensconced in the Patty Wagon, The Straight Beef’s A-Team-like stealth burger van, and headed toward our favorite burger spots in the Triangle.

The Straight Beef Inducts Two New Members

On the heels of news that Straight Beef founding member John McManus has been dishonorably banned from all burger-related activities due to the willing consumption of a veggie burger, the nation’s premier burger-reviewing group has announced the addition of two new members, Reverend Donald Corey and Chad “Baron Beefcake” Ward.

Reverend Donald Corey is a universally renowned burgiatric orator. Known for his fiery delivery and fervid, spontaneous burger-themed speeches, Reverend Don often serves as the keynote speaker at the VFW’s Turkey Shoot and Spit fundraisers. See Don’s full bio here, and his guest review here.

Chad Ward bypassed traditional burgiatric academia and earned his grill marks in the unlicensed burger pits of Hong Kong and Malaysia, competing under various aliases and stage names, including Patty O’Doom, Baron Beefcake, The Griddler, and, once, embarrassingly, Major Meat. See Chad’s full bio here, and his guest review here.

This Just In!

MCMANUS CAUGHT EATING VEGGIE BURGER, IS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED FROM THE STRAIGHT BEEF

Cofounder of premier burger-reviewing group ‘deeply sorry’ for ‘failure’ that hurt family, friends

Following allegations of an illicit relationship with a vegetable-based “hamburger,” the Burgiatric Inquiry Federation (BIF) has banned Straight Beef founding member John McManus from all burger-related activities.

“It is with an equal measure of regret and repugnance that we announce the expulsion of Dr. McManus from our ranks,” said BIF president Stuart Mantalbano during an emergency press conference on Monday. “Dr. McManus has been an esteemed member of the burgiatric community for decades. But the children. We need to think of the children.”

“I am deeply sorry for my mistake,” McManus said in a statement released by his publicist. “I apologize to my colleagues and my fans for this serious failure in judgment.”

The Straight Beef is expected to release plans for possible replacements for McManus in the coming weeks.

Dr. McManus caught green-handed.

Click here to see a photo exposé of the McManus scandal.

Alton Brown puts the world’s most expensive burger to the test

Reviews are just one facet of The Straight Beef. We are also dedicated to keeping our readers and viewers abreast of the latest burger news and information. In this segment from 20/20, Alton Brown explains why the “Kobe” beef at your local steakhouse is likely a fraud and puts the world’s most expensive burger to a blind taste test. The burger portion of the piece begins at the 4:30 mark.

Review #36 – Tír na nÓg (Raleigh, NC)

(This review was originally posted on WRAL Out and About.)

Tír na nÓg: Quality Moo Meat

This month, we had the pleasure of dining with industrial design guru Donald Corey, Associate Professor of Industrial Design at Appalachian State University by day, creator of brilliant gadgets by night. Don’s creations have been showcased at international design events such as Salone Satelite in Milan, ICFF in New York, and CODE in Copenhagen. He also runs the design firm The Other Edge, Inc. in Raleigh with his wife Vanese Clough.

Don’s Review

I arrived early to Tír na nÓg, so I had a chance to try to relax before meeting my fellow critics. However, the extra time only caused me to stumble out of the box with a lighthearted but ill-advised question to the other two: “Should I order the falafel burger?” Their facial expressions and flailing arms conveyed the seriousness of the situation. I steadied myself for the task at hand.

A serious time calls for serious burger. So I ordered the Whiskey Burger, a serious combination of chili and fried egg that was seriously good and merged well with the perfectly cooked patty. It was all topped by a whiskey aioli sauce, which was nice but muted by the determined sweet-and-salty combination of the other ingredients. The top bun was pleasantly toasted, but three quarters of the way through, the bottom bun crumbled under the pressure.

I thought my rating would be higher until the very, very last bite, when I realized I was too pensive to go higher than a 4. But overall, I enjoyed the Whisky Burger—seriously.

Don’s rating: 4 out of 5.

    

Michael’s Review

According to Wikipedia, Tír na nÓg is an earthly paradise inhabited by supernatural beings, “a place where…music, strength, life, and all pleasurable pursuits came together in a single place.” As the Whiskey Burger was placed before me at Tír na nÓg in downtown Raleigh, I imagined that this delicacy undoubtedly exists at the restaurant’s mythical counterpart. After all, how often is one regaled with breakfast (fried egg), lunch (chili), and dinner (beef patty) on a single burger?

The breakfast part was great; fried egg is a favorite burger topping of mine, and Tír na nÓg did it right. Lunch was tasty, too. The chili was no hot dog chili, but real chili with beans. The dinner part was also strong—a juicy, flavorful patty. What kept the Whiskey Burger from achieving mythical status, however was the bun, which was just too large. Yes, a case could be made that a lot of bread is necessary to contain three meals, but there was so much of it that it made eating the burger a challenge, and it detracted from the flavor of the patty.

For that reason alone, an adventurer presenting this burger to the denizens of Tír na nÓg might be sent back to the mainland. I can Ónly give it a 4 out of 5.

    

Scott’s Review

In search of a burger in Raleigh, but which one would make me feel jolly? I asked Donal Logue, he said, “Tir na nOg!” while munching an onion bialy.

I ordered the one they called Blount Street. Onion rings on the beef made it offbeat. The bun was too big, though much was to dig, espec’ly the quality moo meat.

Scott’s Rating: 4.25 out of 5.

    

Tir Na Nog Irish Pub on Urbanspoon

Review #35 – Cameron Bar and Grill (Raleigh, NC)

(This review was originally posted at WRAL Out and About.)

For this review, The Straight Beef was joined by the legendary Paul Friedrich, artist and author of the Eisner Award-nominated graphic novel “Onion Head Monster.” Paul is also the creator of the award-winning “Cup of Awesome” comic strip and animation for the Carolina Hurricanes. Visit Paul at facebook.com/PaulFriedrich, OnionHeadMonster.com, and MANvLIVER.com.

Paul’s Review

I’m a believer in Applebee’s. I like how they’ve spent NASA amounts of money to develop the perfectly average burger. A touch more flavor would make it above average, a pinch less salt would take it below. But when you order it, you know you’re going to get a hamburger. The Memphis burger at Cameron Bar and Grill (“bbq sauce, cheddar, bacon”) aims to be an Applebee’s burger.

The Memphis, hearty in size, looks good when served. Had I been a fireman that was suddenly called away for an emergency before eating it, my memories would have been good ones. Two strips of bacon criss-crossed the patty like an X marking the spot of a treasure. But there was no treasure tonight. The barbeque sauce, which could have been any of at least 9,000 barbeque sauces known to man, chose to be that of Burger King’s Western Burger. A sauce for people who think ketchup is too spicy.

The bun held the burger in place and allowed proper plate-to-mouth movement, but was too stiff to absorb the burger’s juices. The patty itself was gritty in texture, with little flavor. It wasn’t until halfway through the meal that I recalled the “cheddar” part of the burger’s description. Placed on the hamburger too early during grilling, the cheese had all but disappeared. Oh Cheddar cheese, I barely got to know you!

By the end, I knew that if someone asked me the next day what I had for dinner the night before, I would have to pause before remembering that I had eaten a hamburger.

Paul’s rating: 2.5 out of 5.

 

Michael’s Review

This is what I imagine our waiter was saying to himself before he brought my burger out:

You have your work cut out for you, Kevin.

C’mon, Kevin. Get ready. That world-renowned burgiatrist out there is waiting for his Baltimore burger. It’s time to be the best waiter you can.

I can’t procrastinate any longer—he polished off those wings. Too bad he didn’t get the hot wings to dull his taste buds. Our burgers’ patties are bland and dry, and the crumbly kaiser roll will fall apart before he is halfway done. The Baltimore’s crab dip and goat cheese will hide that, though, right? Sure it will. Good thing the volume of the toppings is greater than that of the patty itself. You know—just to be sure.

Be the best waiter you can, Kevin. The best waiter you can.

Michael’s rating: 2.5 out of 5.

    

Scott’s review

The following lines are excerpted from Thomas Jefferson’s letter to John Harvie Shadwell, Jan. 14, 1760.

I mean, c’mon people.

I have been to dine at Cameron Pub in the Colonie of North Carolina about a Fortnight ago, and was desirous I should try the Sandwich “Baltimore meat patty betwixt two breads.” For common right dictates that all comestibles with “creamy crab & goat cheese dip” are by their nature pleasing and instructive. Alas, in the case of the Baltimore Sandwich, common right was taking a Snooze. The dip was fair, but the patty had the disposition of George III after a few too many whistle bellies—and not in a good way. I mean, c’mon people.

Tom

Scott’s rating: 2.25 out of 5.

    

Cameron Bar & Grill on Urbanspoon

There’s a McDifference

There’s a McDifference!

By Dave Foley, guest burgiatrist

Review 4: 601 Corporate Center Drive, Raleigh, NC 27607

For his 4th review, Dave eats fries that “defied the laws of fry physics.”

This is one of my favorite McDonald’s, and I will often drive a little out of my way for this one.

Atmosphere: This is a brand-new McDonald’s with a décor dedicated to the 70s, complete with its bent-back laminate chairs. The wood-slatted drop-down ceiling is quite striking. This is the only McDonald’s I can remember that has a dedicated desk, computer, and chair for filling out job applications.

Quarter Pounder: This McDonald’s is consistently in my top 5 for burger taste. The meat has great flavor and is generally cooked to perfection. Nice, soft bun and symmetrical cheese placement. My only complaint is about the onions. This is a perfect example of what I was talking about in previous reviews: They place a pile of big onion chunks directly in the middle of the burger, and the chunks are too big to spread evenly across the burger, so I’m frustrated with no clear way to maximize my coverage.

Fries: As much as I like the burger here, I always seem to find problems with their fries. This time, they defied the laws of fry physics and I had practically raw fries mixed in with burnt fries. There were also salty fries mixed in with unsalted fries. This McDonalds need’s to really get together with the McDonald’s in my last review because this one has great burgers and that one has great fries.

Burger rating: 4 out of 5 Grimaces

    

Review #33 – Chow (Raleigh, NC)

(This review was originally posted on WRAL Out and About.)

We had the distinct pleasure of being joined by guest reviewer Chad Ward, author of An Edge in the Kitchen: The Ultimate Guide to Kitchen Knives (William Morrow Cookbooks) and the upcoming Meat, Salt & Time: The Art and Science of Making Authentic Sausages, Salamis and Hams at Home. As you’ll see, Chad’s a burgiatrist from the wrong side of the tracks…

Chad’s Review

I don’t have a fancy burgiatry degree like my esteemed burger brethren. I earned my grill marks the hard way—in the unlicensed burger pits of Hong Kong and Malaysia, in sweaty dens of iniquity where burgermeisters from around the world test their mettle against up-and-coming reviewers in a nightly free-for-all cage match that leaves only one man—and one burger—standing.

The burger at Chow would not have made it past round one.

And in this corner…

At first, the Classic burger looked like a contender. The lettuce and tomato were refreshingly fresh, and the bacon was crisp, but the burger faltered early. The patty was bland and flavorless, with none of the rich mineral meatiness of top-notch beef treated with care. Compounding the problem was the bun—stale and dry, past its prime. I’d ordered the Classic medium rare. I like my burger pink in the middle. However, what I got was uncomfortably rare, barely warm in the center. While I suffered no ill effects, this was the final blow. The risk-to-reward wasn’t worth it.

This burger deserves no more than a 2.5, downgraded to a 2.25 for the stale bun. Knockout in round one.

Chad’s rating: 2.25 out of 5.

    

Michael’s Review

As the burgiatrist among us who’s known to order the “weird” burgers, it was obvious what I’d order at Chow: Bacon? Check. Fried egg? Check. Duke’s mayo? Check. The Flatline Burger. Check.

I give Chow a lot of credit for what they tried to do here. The fried egg was over-medium, which works well as a burger topping; everything holds together until you bite into the yolk, at which point it’s eggy goodness all over. The bacon (traditional, none of this applewood smoked nonsense) was cooked to order and never saw a heat lamp.

Alas, the Flatline’s patty and bun—what really counts—fell flat. The patty should have been cooked a few minutes more. The flavor was average at best. The bun was too bready and fell apart too quickly. A solid potato bun would have held up.

So close.

In the end, the Flatline was almost a good burger. The patty was almost cooked to order. The bun almost held together. The toppings almost compensated for the burger’s failings. I almost gave this burger a 3.

Michael’s rating: 2.75 out of 5.

    

Scott’s Review

I was sure, when the Chow BBQ Burger was placed before me, that it held a one-way ticket to Four-berg. Maybe even Four-and-a-half-bury. It just looked good, with its golden bun, rough-edged patty, and crisp whole-leaf lettuce gleaming as they pulled into the station.

After one bite, however, I knew the burger could go no farther than Three-and-a-half-shire—maybe even Three-ford. The bun was tired and listless, having traveled for at least two days from what might have been the suburbs of Five-kirk.

We’re on the last train to Twos-ville.

After three bites, the patty proved underdone and crumbly, perhaps having leapt off the grill at the wrong stop. It was clear, sadly, that this choo-choo was chugging straight to Two-town.

Scott’s review: 2.25 out of 5.

    

Chow on Urbanspoon

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