2013: The Year in Burgiatry

As the waiter takes the check and we brush the final crumbs of 2013 from our clothes, it is time for a bit of reflection, a moment’s pause to consider the highs and lows of the 2013 year in burgiatry.

  • The Straight Beef closed the books on the year’s reviews on the highest of notes. Al’s Burger Shack in Chapel Hill completely floored all four reviewers in the waning days of December. Despite the restaurant only being open a short while, the burgers there were rated the best of the year and among the top five hamburgers The Straight Beef has encountered in its four year history.

    Super. Thanks for asking.

    Super. Thanks for asking.

  • The Al’s review also garnered the most attention of any Straight Beef post in 2013, with a huge number of page views and more than 500 Facebook shares. Al’s Burger Shack continued an emerging trend – Chapel Hill, NC, is rapidly becoming burger Mecca. Al’s joins Buns of Chapel Hill and Top This to score a hat trick, a trifecta of great hamburgers within a square mile of one another.
  • 2013 also saw catastrophic lows, a hamburger so horrifying that the Reverend Corey not only could not finish it, but swore off hamburgers for nearly a month before having his faith (and appetite) renewed in a Dante-esque moment at Top This.

    This picture is not out of focus. The burger was so bad it was blurry.

    This picture is not out of focus. The burger was so bad it was blurry.

  • 2013 saw expansions – both technological and geographic – in the reach of professional burgiatry. The Straight Beef launched its podcast series, bringing burgiatric wisdom to those who would otherwise not have access to the depth of knowledge that The Straight Beef offers.
  • We also published our second international review. The first was Dr. Blumenthal’s 2011 video review of Café Chappe in Paris, while the latest was Reverend Corey’s glowing and redemptive review of the hamburger at Dish in Prague, Czech Republic.
  • This year saw a nationwide explosion of bizarre gimmick hamburgers, starting with a $380,000 vat-grown burger. We used to refer to these as “Look at Me!”burgers. Now we think of them as “Look at me – and run away!” burgers. Hamburgers with fried macaroni & cheese buns, hamburgers with ramen buns, triple-patty monstrosities with battered, buttermilk fried bacon (no, we’re not kidding), and 7-layer burgers made the national news. Where we formerly gleefully ordered whatever hamburger an establishment called its “signature burger,” we have learned through rueful experience that these are overwrought, overthought, and definitely overbought. Stay away.

    SteaknShake_7x7Burger

    Steak & Shake 7×7 Burger

  • The greatest story of the year, however, the one worthy of the Bob Costas-with-a-tear-in-his-eye-at-the-Olympics moment, has to be the redemption of Straight Beef burgiatrist emeritus Dr. John McManus. Dr. McManus suffered a shocking breakdown that estranged him from his colleagues and removed him from the field of serious burgiatric inquiry. Early in 2013, despite all odds, Dr. McManus made a miraculous recovery and is once again at the forefront of hamburger research, having finally attained the Holy Grail of hamburgers – a five star burger at GAS in Florida.

    JM Gas 1

    Welcome back, Dr. McManus!

This closes the fourth year of The Straight Beef, our first year as the new four-man lineup, and the first year of the Reverend Corey’s Reverend Rants and Chad’s Notes from the Burger Underground in addition to the enduring features the Tao of Cow and Ask the Burgiatrist.

Stay tuned fearless readers, 2014 promises even more burger news and reviews, starting with The Straight Beef’s 50TH review! (yes, it deserves an exclamation point!)

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