Podcast Aweigh!
The Straight Beef is proud to release the first episode of The Straight Beef Podcast. Burgiatry has never been more audible. Click here to subscribe.
Category: News Flash
Behold the Power of Burgers
In-N-Out president Lynsi Torres is the youngest female billionaire. That’s what serving a great burger can do for you.
Here’s the Bloomberg profile of Lynsi Torres that ran earlier this week.
Famous for its Double-Double cheeseburgers, fresh ingredients and discreet biblical citations on its cups and food wrappers, In-N-Out has almost 280 units in five states. The closely held company had sales of about $625 million in 2012, after applying a five-year compound annual growth rate of 4.6 percent to industry trade magazine Nation’s Restaurant News’s 2011 sales estimate of $596 million.
Burger, with everything
For writer Duncan Murrell, a burger is memory. “What is it we remember when we remember a hamburger? We remember what we were doing and where we were, and how it felt to be alive, right then. If that’s a happy memory, it’s a good burger. Simple enough in theory.” While we can’t agree that a hamburger is simply a blank slate for toppings, as he also asserts, we certainly appreciate his excellent essay on hamburgers from the June 2011 issue of Our State magazine. Enjoy.
2012: The Year in Burgiatry
As we nibble the last french fry of 2012 and call for the end-of-the year check, we pause for a moment of reflection—on the great burgers, on the not-so-great burgers, on the momentous advances in burgiatry, and on the equally momentous changes in personnel, masterminded at our secret underground lair.
Let us stroll through the burgiatric year that was, shall we?
- This wraps up three full years of The Straight Beef. In all, we’ve racked up 37 official burger reviews and myriad features—like “Renegade Reviews,” “The Tao of Cow,” and “Ask the Burgiatrist”—that have become shining beacons of hope and solace to our loyal readers.
- The Straight Beef became burgiatrists-in-residence at WRAL’s “Out & About” site, providing the hungry masses with hard-hitting reviews to help them navigate the Triangle burger scene. In July, the site featured The Straight Beef’s top burgers in its “Our Five Faves” series.
- We delved even greater into the depths of burger fanaticism with our irregular feature “There’s a McDifference,” in which intrepid burgiatrist Dave Foley investigates the arcane distinctions between the products at various area McDonald’s locations.
- We reached the highest peaks, anointing Chuck’s the Triangle’s best hamburger (so far).
- We plumbed the greatest depths, issuing our first one-star review for a hamburger so horrifying that a shaken Dr. Marino was forced to exclaim, “It was the fevered dream of a madman…I only pray that children were never exposed to it.” We dare not speak its name.
- One of our Top 10 joints, Hurricane Grill & Wings, featured The Straight Beef’s 4.33 rating in its radio campaign, marking an uneasy intersection of hamburger science and commerce.
- Sadly, the stresses of advanced burgiatry proved too great for Straight Beef founding member Dr. John McManus, who succumbed to the temptation, nay, the depravity, of a vegetable-based “hamburger,” and was summarily dismissed from the burgiatric community. Rehabilitation is a long and difficult road, but we hope that with the loving help of his family–and strong psychotropic drugs–he may yet recover.
- Following Dr. McManus’s fall from grace, The Straight Beef recruited two new members, the Reverend Donald Corey and Chad Ward, to carry on the proud traditions of our institution.
Now, as we look forward to 2013…
The Straight Beef promises an expanded posting schedule, including burger news, information, and guidance with Chad’s new feature “Notes from the Burger Underground,” and burger truth to rile your soul with Don’s new feature “Reverend Rants.”
Meanwhile, keep an eye out for our first review of 2013, which may very well rock the very foundations of the hallowed Top Five list. Stay tuned.
Burger on!
Travel Channel green-lights “Burger Land,” an exploration of America’s great burger joints with George Motz
The Travel Channel has approved 11 episodes of “Burger Land,” George Motz’s exploration of classic hamburger joints in America. Here’s the quote from the Travel Channel:
Host George Motz, author of the popular book, “Hamburger America,” takes viewers on a road trip to meet some of the nation’s oldest and most storied hamburger creators, tour their establishments and find out what makes their burger the best. Motz uncovers the history, people and secrets behind America’s most iconic sandwich.
George Motz’s documentary “Hamburger America” debuted in 2005, featuring eight great hamburger restaurants across the United States. He then parlayed that into a book by the same name in 2008 which featured 150 iconic burger joints. Now the Travel Channel has approved 11 episodes of “Burger Land,” a new television series that will highlight four burger joints per episode. All we can say is that The Straight Beef media team is in negotiations with Motz and the Travel Channel (meaning that we have sent them an email and an attempted bribe). If Motz and his crew cross the North Carolina border they will quickly find themselves ensconced in the Patty Wagon, The Straight Beef’s A-Team-like stealth burger van, and headed toward our favorite burger spots in the Triangle.
The Straight Beef Inducts Two New Members
On the heels of news that Straight Beef founding member John McManus has been dishonorably banned from all burger-related activities due to the willing consumption of a veggie burger, the nation’s premier burger-reviewing group has announced the addition of two new members, Reverend Donald Corey and Chad “Baron Beefcake” Ward.
Reverend Donald Corey is a universally renowned burgiatric orator. Known for his fiery delivery and fervid, spontaneous burger-themed speeches, Reverend Don often serves as the keynote speaker at the VFW’s Turkey Shoot and Spit fundraisers. See Don’s full bio here, and his guest review here.
Chad Ward bypassed traditional burgiatric academia and earned his grill marks in the unlicensed burger pits of Hong Kong and Malaysia, competing under various aliases and stage names, including Patty O’Doom, Baron Beefcake, The Griddler, and, once, embarrassingly, Major Meat. See Chad’s full bio here, and his guest review here.
This Just In!
MCMANUS CAUGHT EATING VEGGIE BURGER, IS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED FROM THE STRAIGHT BEEF
Cofounder of premier burger-reviewing group ‘deeply sorry’ for ‘failure’ that hurt family, friends
Following allegations of an illicit relationship with a vegetable-based “hamburger,” the Burgiatric Inquiry Federation (BIF) has banned Straight Beef founding member John McManus from all burger-related activities.
“It is with an equal measure of regret and repugnance that we announce the expulsion of Dr. McManus from our ranks,” said BIF president Stuart Mantalbano during an emergency press conference on Monday. “Dr. McManus has been an esteemed member of the burgiatric community for decades. But the children. We need to think of the children.”
“I am deeply sorry for my mistake,” McManus said in a statement released by his publicist. “I apologize to my colleagues and my fans for this serious failure in judgment.”
The Straight Beef is expected to release plans for possible replacements for McManus in the coming weeks.
Dr. McManus caught green-handed.
Alton Brown puts the world’s most expensive burger to the test
Reviews are just one facet of The Straight Beef. We are also dedicated to keeping our readers and viewers abreast of the latest burger news and information. In this segment from 20/20, Alton Brown explains why the “Kobe” beef at your local steakhouse is likely a fraud and puts the world’s most expensive burger to a blind taste test. The burger portion of the piece begins at the 4:30 mark.